Never Forgotten

Everything Fell Into Place

Making Dreams Come True

Solving One of the Great Mysteries of Christmas

The old Monty Python TV show used to use an ongoing transition device in their shows – “. . . and now for something completely different.”  Co-opting that theme, this blog entry takes a break from the usual Christianity, Creation, and politics discussions for a practical Christmas theme.

One of the greatest mysteries surrounding Christmas, at least according to a large percentage of our population, is what to get a man for Christmas.  We hear it all the time, “Men are so hard to buy for.”  “I just don’t have any idea what to get my husband/boyfriend/guy-in-my-life.”

Well, relax.  In this brief composition, we are going to put those fears and anxious thoughts to rest.  The secrets of how to make the men in your life happy this holiday season are to be revealed!

First, a few brief disclaimers:  I am writing as a married, non-millennial, male who has never entertained the idea of putting on a dress in order to feel “fabulous.”  I firmly believe that there are only two biological sexes; that gender is fixed, not fluid; and that there are distinct, innate psychological differences between men and women that no amount of hormone injections and binge-watching of The View will ever change for men.

I also realize that far too many Millennial men have been so feminized by our culture and single-parent households that some of what I have to suggest here may not seem to apply.  However, even these sad cases can be rehabilitated by regular trips to Cabela’s, Tractor Supply Co., and the home improvement store of your preference!  Also helpful – binge-watching episodes of the old Lone Ranger TV series!

So, how does one successfully buy gifts for the men in your lives?  I want to suggest four ideas.

1.  ASK: 

Find out what it is exactly that your man wants.  Far too many men have been disappointed and ladies frustrated by the fact that the gift giving effort was not appreciated and the gift received wasn’t what was desired.

It’s been said that men don’t listen very well, but when it comes to gift giving, ladies can be guilty of this too.  If a man says he wants a hammer or a fishing reel or a pair of running shoes, please keep in mind that he probably has a specific model/style/variety in mind.  If you take the time to find out exactly what he wants and you give it to him, you will be called ‘fairest in all the land”!

But, if you just grab the first hammer, reel, or shoes you see, get ready for a tepid, polite response that will make everyone unhappy.

I remember a wife telling a story several years ago about how she set out to surprise her husband with a kayak for Christmas.  She went to the store and bought the kayak; struggled to get it into her car to bring it home; wrestled it into her house; and ingeniously hid it from his view until Christmas.  She managed to secretly get it under the tree and give him a grand surprise on Christmas morning.

But, there was just one glitch – she got him the wrong one!  He was frustrated.  She was angry and hurt.  What she got was the wrong model from the one he wanted.  It wasn’t a price difference thing.  It had to do with application for how he intended to use it.

This illustrates perfectly what I’m talking about.  If this wife had just taken a few more minutes and coyly asked a few more questions, her extraordinary efforts to get her husband the perfect gift would have paid off handsomely for both of them.

A number of years ago, my wife and I were watching The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe on TV.  During the movie, when Peter received his sword from Father Christmas, I commented to my wife that Peter’s sword was one of the ones I wanted to get some day (I have a small fantasy sword collection for office decorations).  I also remember telling her that there are “knock-off” versions of all the fantasy swords out there that are cheaply made and not “official.”

At the time, I wasn’t thinking about getting a gift, but she remembered what I said and when Christmas came, later in the year, guess what I received?  Yep. The very sword I commented about (And, it was the “official” one too!).  She cared enough to listen to what I wanted and she did a great job in buying something I really wanted.  It still hangs next to my desk in my office.

2.  Quantity Doesn’t Equal Quality:

Some people insist that the more gifts someone has to open on Christmas morning, the better the Christmas experience is.  That may be true for a 6 year old, but not for most men I know.  We would rather three gifts that we really want than a dozen that are so-so.

To illustrate my point, remember the scene in A Christmas Story where Randy and Ralphie are opening gifts?  Remember what they do in unison when they open packages of socks?  Yep. That’s how men feel about gifts they really don’t want or need. 

So, save the time, effort, and frustration and don’t try to fill the floor with gifts that your guy really isn’t excited about getting.  Otherwise, you may feel unappreciated when he doesn’t give you great kudos over a pack of new underwear!

My former mother-in-law had this mentality.  She thought she had to get everyone a bunch of gifts to open no matter what they were.  One Christmas back in the 90s, my oldest son was a rabid Dallas Cowboys/Troy Aikman fan.  We got him several Cowboys/Aikman gifts that year.  When he went to his grandparents’ house to open Christmas presents there, one of the things she got him was an NFL drink tumbler.  But, the problem was that she got him a Houston Oilers mug, not a Dallas Cowboys mug.  He was polite, but she was clueless.  It was something she got on clearance somewhere, I guess. By the 90s, the Houston Oilers were one of the losingest teams in the NFL.  I told him later he didn’t have to use it if he didn’t want to.  I think we later sold it at a yard sale for around 10 cents.

She also pulled a similar gaff on me.  One Christmas, during the time I was coaching my sons in roller hockey, she gave me a tie for Christmas.  I have a number of novelty ties, so it wasn’t a bad idea.  But, she thought she was getting me a tie with a repeated pattern of hockey players on it.  Sadly, she probably wasn’t wearing her glasses when she bought it because what I opened was a tie with skiers on it!  No, I don’t ski and neither does anyone in my family.

3.  When In Doubt – Gift Cards Are Great:

Most men I know would love to get gift cards to their favorite stores.  That way they can enjoy shopping for things they really want or discover while shopping there.

If you aren’t sure what to get your man, at least get him a gift card to a place you know he loves to shop.  He will be thrilled, I guarantee it.  And, when he does use it to get something he wants, you will get praise and thanks all over again from him for your thoughtfulness.

Remember, one good gift card is worth a half a dozen so-so gifts that he really didn’t want!

One Christmas, my wife was at a loss as to what to get me.  Her solution?  She hung several gift cards on the tree for me for various places and things she knew I liked.  Some were fast food.  Some were home improvement stores.  But, it was a great Christmas because I could enjoy it for weeks afterwards.

The bigger stores all have specialty gift card boxes to “fancy up” the gift.  Don’t be afraid to use them.  That’s what I often do for my oldest son.  I get him gift cards to stores I know he needs to buy stuff in for his farm.  He gets to shop and also get things he might not normally buy for himself.

4.  It Isn’t Always About Spending Money:

Men tend to be simple creatures.  To make us happy, you don’t always have to wow us with your shopping prowess.  Sometimes you can give us gifts that we love without spending a dime.

What do I mean?  Well, what are some of the things you do for your guy that he loves?   For one of my birthdays, my wife made me a specialty homemade pizza.  She likes making homemade pizza anyway, but this one had pepperoni, mushrooms, bacon, and shrimp on it!  It was wonderful; a great birthday present.

How about making up a coupon book for your guy for say half a dozen massages?  No real man would turn that down!  For you married couples, I could be more explicit, but I’ll leave that to your imagination.

My point is that if you are creative, you can have the happiest guy on the planet without breaking the bank.

I hope these suggestions are helpful.  It really isn’t all that difficult to buy for a man.  It just takes a little bit of time, a willingness to listen, and a desire to meet his needs.

And, BTW – for most men, this kind of practical love will be reflected back to you many times over!

Merry Christmas!

The Season of the Impossible

It's Coming!

Reasons to be Thankful

Worthy of Praise

The Christian's Duty

It's Really Scary!

The One Sacrifice

God's Perfected Work

All One Body

To Tell the Truth

Gifts for Everyone

A Reasonable Faith

A Foundation of Truth

The Work Is All Done

Guarding the Lambs

The Very Picture of God

Tearing Down Fortresses

Power Through Weakness

The Prodigals Among Us

Bibles with Feet

Embracing the Fire

The God of the Impossible

The Blessed Nation

Vacation Season

Father's Day - Building a Legacy

A Worthy Education

Teaching the Teacher

Is Evangelicalism Losing Its Soul?

A serious growing trend is happening today within the Evangelical Church.  Under the guise of correcting perceived “wrongs”, far too many leaders in the Church today are calling for repentance, changes, and re-alignments with theology and practices that are little more than 1960s Liberation Theology re-warmed.

We are seeing the Christian feminists demanding greater access to the “old boys club” (at least that’s how they perceive it) of denominational leadership.

We are seeing whole conferences devoted to racial reconciliation and even some form of “spiritual reparations.”

We are seeing hand-wringing over the need to reach out further and become more “woke” (read – relevant) to Millennials in order to get them to want to come to church.

And, more examples could be given.

But, the point is – the Church today is becoming far more fractious that it has been in decades because of these “self-improvement” efforts.

As someone who lived through this similar period in the main line Protestant Church in the 1960s and 70s, it is strikingly similar.  As Solomon said, “There is nothing new under the sun.”

The results in the main line Church from these disparate groups demanding “equal” (read – privileged) status were a further slide from orthodoxy in theology and a church structure and function that became a lame attempt at being social welfare agencies.

The main line Church is theologically ridiculous today.  It has also hemorrhaged members by the millions since then.  Political correctness has all but destroyed the Gospel message and the rumble of feet leaving the church buildings has been deafening.

So, what is happening in the modern Evangelical Church?  Perhaps Paul’s warning in Romans 12:2 is no longer being heeded.  The Church is being conformed to the world instead of being transformed by minds that are renewed by the Holy Spirit.

Every group with perceived grievances is now coming forward to attack a basically weak, compromised leadership. Power abhors a vacuum and we are seeing those more than willing to fill it.

Whether it is the feminists demanding to become denominational heads; whether it is minority advocates demanding national days of repentance for past sins; and whether it is non-experienced Millennial spokesmen demanding the Church soften positions on traditional marriage, transgender psychosis, and irrational crushes on socialism, all of these groups want a bigger piece of the pie and bigger seats at the table.

Tragically, the end result will be no different than it was in the 60s and 70s – the Evangelical Church will lose its “salt” and “light” and simply become another trendy hashtag movement with no real transformative power.

Let’s be blunt here.  The Bible only talks about two “groups” as far as humanity goes.

The first group is “All.”  “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”  (Romans 3:23)  That’s right, all people, regardless of background, family, ethnicity, gender, socioeconomic stature, or education, are “All” fallen, sinful beings in need of a Savior.

There is no such thing as “group privilege” that excuses anyone from this fallen designation.  Everyone is accountable for their own personal behavior before a Holy God.

This first comprehensive designation destroys all of the “aggrieved group“ arguments of those advocating for special relief and special privileges based on group identity.

The second group is “Whosoever.”  “Whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.”  (John 3:16)  This truth also states that all people, regardless of background, family, ethnicity, gender, socioeconomic stature, or education, can indeed find salvation from fallen, sinful natures via faith in the world’s only Savior – Jesus Christ.

Once again, there is no group designation of privilege here.  Every individual human who wants to be saved by Jesus is welcome to come and receive His forgiveness and eternal life.

God is not a respecter of persons or of groups when it comes to salvation.  Jesus made that very clear in John 14:6.  He is THE only way to God.  Anyone who wants His salvation is welcome to it if they repent and believe.

I once heard an old preacher say one time, “God has no grandchildren.”  That is absolutely true.  Salvation is graciously given to anyone who wants it.  But, it will not be given on behalf of anyone else or be based on the external circumstances of the sinner.

What it comes down to today is that far too many in the Evangelical Church have departed from this simple Gospel message.  This Marxist-inspired tribalism that seeks to divide us into sub-groups within the Church, all clamoring for power and attention, is nothing short of a plot from Satan to keep us weak and ineffective.

We have mega churches today with high tech production values, yet we are losing our culture to atheistic, perverse, death-loving, narcissists.  We have federal judges who are making laws from the bench that defy reality and create more and more cultural confusion.

We have prosperity preachers praying for $45 million dollar jets and, at the same time, have young, scared single mothers leaving their babies in garbage dumpsters and in forests; if they don’t just abort them.

It is high time the Church abandon its insecurities of past perceived slights and get back to focusing on what the Lord has already commanded us to be – Jesus’ voice, hands, and feet in the world.

It is only God’s Word that should dictate our faith, not some sociological constructs created by 60s radicals in liberal universities.

Our children are being radicalized by the perverse in schools.  Those in power flaunt their abuse of women by promising to abort their babies for free.  An ever-growing government is continuing to shrink our basic, God-given freedoms.  And, the “tolerance police” are destroying lives and businesses by the scores in their less than subtle tyranny efforts.

So, how do we recover our place in society as the voice of conscience, morality, and forgiveness?  We crucify our “group flesh” and focus on the Lordship of Jesus first and foremost.  We preach His simple, Biblical Gospel for all to hear.

We return to the Biblical (and scientific) truth that we are all basically the same humanity.  (There is only one human species.)  Yes, we have cultural, ethnic, and worship differences (even some theological ones, as well), but we all fit into one of the two aforementioned “groups.” 

We are either in the “All” lost category.  Or, we are in the “Whosoever” category – belonging to Jesus as one of God’s children.

Demanding anything beyond that is selfish and sinful!

Just Dying to Live

Pentecost Sunday - "What Shall We Do?"

Mother's Day - And Now, For the Ladies

Living the Proof, Part 5 - Fixing the Potholes

Living the Proof, Part 4 - Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Living the Proof, Part 3 - "Mother Nature"?

Living the Proof, Part 2 - Death and Taxes

Living the Proof, Part 1 - From Here to Eternity

Easter - The Proof!

Palm Sunday - Onward Christian Soldiers

The Wisdom of the Stupid!

God's Hidden Treasures

Wisdom Through the Ages

His Hope in Our Times of Trouble

F-R-E-E-D-O-M!

The Battle Within

Our Faith Is On the Line

Real Wisdom in an Age of Fools

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The Decorations of Christmas, Part 6 - Everybody Loves Presents