The old Monty
Python TV show used to use an ongoing transition device in their shows – “.
. . and now for something completely different.” Co-opting that theme, this blog entry takes a
break from the usual Christianity, Creation, and politics discussions for a practical
Christmas theme.
One of the greatest mysteries surrounding Christmas,
at least according to a large percentage of our population, is what to get a
man for Christmas. We hear it all the
time, “Men are so hard to buy for.” “I
just don’t have any idea what to get my husband/boyfriend/guy-in-my-life.”
Well, relax.
In this brief composition, we are going to put those fears and anxious
thoughts to rest. The secrets of how to
make the men in your life happy this holiday season are to be revealed!
First, a few brief disclaimers: I am writing as a married, non-millennial,
male who has never entertained the idea of putting on a dress in order to feel “fabulous.” I firmly believe that there are only two
biological sexes; that gender is fixed, not fluid; and that there are distinct,
innate psychological differences between men and women that no amount of hormone
injections and binge-watching of The View
will ever change for men.
I also realize that far too many Millennial men have
been so feminized by our culture and single-parent households that some of what
I have to suggest here may not seem to apply.
However, even these sad cases can be rehabilitated by regular trips to
Cabela’s, Tractor Supply Co., and the home improvement store of your
preference! Also helpful – binge-watching
episodes of the old Lone Ranger TV
series!
So, how does one successfully buy gifts for the men
in your lives? I want to suggest four
ideas.
1. ASK:
Find out what it is exactly that your man
wants. Far too many men have been disappointed
and ladies frustrated by the fact that the gift giving effort was not
appreciated and the gift received wasn’t what was desired.
It’s been said that men don’t listen very well, but
when it comes to gift giving, ladies can be guilty of this too. If a man says he wants a hammer or a fishing
reel or a pair of running shoes, please keep in mind that he probably has a
specific model/style/variety in mind. If
you take the time to find out exactly what he wants and you give it to him, you
will be called ‘fairest in all the land”!
But, if you just grab the first hammer, reel, or
shoes you see, get ready for a tepid, polite response that will make everyone
unhappy.
I remember a wife telling a story several years ago
about how she set out to surprise her husband with a kayak for Christmas. She went to the store and bought the kayak;
struggled to get it into her car to bring it home; wrestled it into her house;
and ingeniously hid it from his view until Christmas. She managed to secretly get it under the tree
and give him a grand surprise on Christmas morning.
But, there was just one glitch – she got him the
wrong one! He was frustrated. She was angry and hurt. What she got was the wrong model from the one
he wanted. It wasn’t a price difference
thing. It had to do with application for
how he intended to use it.
This illustrates perfectly what I’m talking
about. If this wife had just taken a few
more minutes and coyly asked a few more questions, her extraordinary efforts to
get her husband the perfect gift would have paid off handsomely for both of
them.
A number of years ago, my wife and I were watching The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe on
TV. During the movie, when Peter received
his sword from Father Christmas, I commented to my wife that Peter’s sword was
one of the ones I wanted to get some day (I have a small fantasy sword collection
for office decorations). I also remember
telling her that there are “knock-off” versions of all the fantasy swords out
there that are cheaply made and not “official.”
At the time, I wasn’t thinking about getting a gift,
but she remembered what I said and when Christmas came, later in the year,
guess what I received? Yep. The very
sword I commented about (And, it was the “official” one too!). She cared enough to listen to what I wanted
and she did a great job in buying something I really wanted. It still hangs next to my desk in my office.
2. Quantity Doesn’t Equal Quality:
Some people insist that the more gifts someone has
to open on Christmas morning, the better the Christmas experience is. That may be true for a 6 year old, but not
for most men I know. We would rather
three gifts that we really want than a dozen that are so-so.
To illustrate my point, remember the scene in A Christmas Story where Randy and Ralphie
are opening gifts? Remember what they do
in unison when they open packages of socks?
Yep. That’s how men feel about gifts they really don’t want or
need.
So, save the time, effort, and frustration and don’t
try to fill the floor with gifts that your guy really isn’t excited about
getting. Otherwise, you may feel
unappreciated when he doesn’t give you great kudos over a pack of new
underwear!
My former mother-in-law had this mentality. She thought she had to get everyone a bunch
of gifts to open no matter what they were.
One Christmas back in the 90s, my oldest son was a rabid Dallas
Cowboys/Troy Aikman fan. We got him
several Cowboys/Aikman gifts that year.
When he went to his grandparents’ house to open Christmas presents
there, one of the things she got him was an NFL drink tumbler. But, the problem was that she got him a
Houston Oilers mug, not a Dallas Cowboys mug.
He was polite, but she was clueless.
It was something she got on clearance somewhere, I guess. By the 90s,
the Houston Oilers were one of the losingest teams in the NFL. I told him later he didn’t have to use it if
he didn’t want to. I think we later sold
it at a yard sale for around 10 cents.
She also pulled a similar gaff on me. One Christmas, during the time I was coaching
my sons in roller hockey, she gave me a tie for Christmas. I have a number of novelty ties, so it wasn’t
a bad idea. But, she thought she was
getting me a tie with a repeated pattern of hockey players on it. Sadly, she probably wasn’t wearing her
glasses when she bought it because what I opened was a tie with skiers on
it! No, I don’t ski and neither does
anyone in my family.
3. When In Doubt – Gift Cards Are Great:
Most men I know would love to get gift cards to
their favorite stores. That way they can
enjoy shopping for things they really want or discover while shopping there.
If you aren’t sure what to get your man, at least
get him a gift card to a place you know he loves to shop. He will be thrilled, I guarantee it. And, when he does use it to get something he
wants, you will get praise and thanks all over again from him for your
thoughtfulness.
Remember, one good gift card is worth a half a dozen
so-so gifts that he really didn’t want!
One Christmas, my wife was at a loss as to what to
get me. Her solution? She hung several gift cards on the tree for
me for various places and things she knew I liked. Some were fast food. Some were home improvement stores. But, it was a great Christmas because I could
enjoy it for weeks afterwards.
The bigger stores all have specialty gift card boxes
to “fancy up” the gift. Don’t be afraid
to use them. That’s what I often do for
my oldest son. I get him gift cards to
stores I know he needs to buy stuff in for his farm. He gets to shop and also get things he might
not normally buy for himself.
4. It Isn’t Always About Spending Money:
Men tend to be simple creatures. To make us happy, you don’t always have to
wow us with your shopping prowess.
Sometimes you can give us gifts that we love without spending a dime.
What do I mean?
Well, what are some of the things you do for your guy that he
loves? For one of my birthdays, my wife
made me a specialty homemade pizza. She
likes making homemade pizza anyway, but this one had pepperoni, mushrooms,
bacon, and shrimp on it! It was
wonderful; a great birthday present.
How about making up a coupon book for your guy for
say half a dozen massages? No real man
would turn that down! For you married
couples, I could be more explicit, but I’ll leave that to your imagination.
My point is that if you are creative, you can have
the happiest guy on the planet without breaking the bank.
I hope these suggestions are helpful. It really isn’t all that difficult to buy for
a man. It just takes a little bit of
time, a willingness to listen, and a desire to meet his needs.
And, BTW – for most men, this kind of practical love
will be reflected back to you many times over!
Merry Christmas!
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